


Nothing to hide (behind)

by joywritesstuff



Category: BLURRYFACE - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Religious Guilt, Tyler has issues, car radio inspired, idk what else to tag this with, obviously, record store au?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-19 08:49:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4740254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joywritesstuff/pseuds/joywritesstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basketball is Tyler's entire life until he gets injured and is forced to retire for the rest of the season. Angry, disappointed and not sure as to what he should be doing with all the time he suddenly has on his hands, Tyler decides he'll teach himself to play the ukulele as a way of keeping himself entertained. </p><p>Enter Josh: the openly gay (bisexual, actually, but no one seems able to make that distinction) drummer, who makes Tyler question more than just his sexuality.</p><p>Alternative title: Tyler Joseph and the Big Bad Gay Panic</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tyler had learned early on to always keep himself busy doing _something_ , whether it was playing video games, socializing, or running himself into the ground playing basketball. He could never be at peace sitting still and doing nothing. He didn't like the dark turns his thoughts took when he was left alone with nothing to do but think. There was no hiding from his subconscious when he had nothing to keep his mind busy, nothing to hide behind.

If Tyler's parents had been out to punish their son for _the incident_ , they could not have done so more efficiently than by forcing him to stay inside, with little entertainment and without any company. As it was, they weren't doing it to punish their son at all; the doctor had recommended they should do so in order to "avoid aggravating his ribs any more than absolutely necessary."

At first Tyler figured the doctor was just trying to cover his own ass, hoping to prevent a possible lawsuit by being overly cautious. It wasn't until he added that he would "strongly advice against him participating in any strenuous and/or dangerous activities during the first two months of his recovery," - which was to say for the duration of the basketball season - that Tyler began to suspect dr. Althaus was a sadist who got a kick out of watching him suffer. The good doctor confirmed this theory only a little later, when he told Mrs. Joseph that it would be best to keep Tyler in a dark room and away from any stimulus, as not doing so might just give him more of a headache. If Tyler hadn't been drugged out of his mind on anti-inflammatory painkillers, he probably would have tried to land a punch at this point.

His parents, of course, opted for thanking dr. Althaus instead, and upon returning home, deposited of Tyler in his bedroom and closed all of the curtains before they made their way downstairs to the living room, happily unaware of the fact that their son was currently dying a little on the inside. If they had actively tried to punish their son, they could not have done a better job of it. Indeed, the fact that they were _not_ trying to punish him only made their non-punishment more severe, because by acting in what they thought to be his best interest, they took away the only outlet for his frustration that had been left to him. With no sports, no company and nothing to keep him entertained, Tyler could have burned off some of his restless energy by yelling at his parents, but since they were only doing what they thought was best, even that had lost its appeal.

So that is how Tyler came to spend two full days in bed, more miserable than even his parents had intended for him to be, with nothing to do but wait, and nothing to entertain him but his own thoughts. The only thing he could blame his parents for was caring _too much_ , and maybe not knowing their son very well, and even this, Tyler had to admit, was mostly on him, as he was the one who insisted on keeping them at an arms length.

 

\- -

 

It was early on the morning of the third day that Tyler- after a night spent much in the same fashion he had spent most of his days, alternating between staring at his phone and the ceiling - decided enough was enough. He appreciated his parents' concern, he really did, and although he’d never admit it to anyone, especially not to his mom, he quite enjoyed being fussed over from time to time, but he had now reached a level of boredom previously uncharted by him, and he did not like the effect these four walls had on his sanity. Besides, if he had to choose between death by boredom, or death by punctured lung, the second option sounded like an infinitely better way to go.

After checking to making sure that both his parents had left for work, Tyler tanked up on painkillers, pulled on a pair of jeans, a black hoodie and some battered old vans, and headed out the door as fast as his aching ribs would allow him. Getting on his bike was a challenge, but his determination was fueled by a combination of boredom and frustration, which meant that even this was overcome by a little pain and a lot of effort. Within 15 minutes of leaving his bed, Tyler was halfway out the street, cold, sore and happier than he had been in days.

After a few hours spent wandering through the streets of Columbus by himself, moving from one store to another in order to avoid freezing to death in the cold November weather, Tyler eventually found himself standing in front of a small, cozy looking music store. It was badly lit and there didn't seem to be anyone inside, but for Tyler, whose breathing was labored and whose head hurt, these were major selling points.

 _Besides_ , Tyler thought, as he took out his wallet and counted the amount of cash he had on him, _I might find something to occupy my time with. God knows I might lose what's left of my mind if I have to spend another day lying in bed without anything to do._

The clear sound of a ringing bell caused Tyler to jump as he walked into the store, and after he let the door fell shut, he had to take a second to close his eyes and wait for his head to stop pounding.

_One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. Four Mi-_

"Hey, Johnson, right?" A voice to Tyler's left asked, interrupting his breathing exercise. Tyler, unsure of who was talking and whether he was the one being addressed or not, because _no, my name is definitely not Johnson_ , looked around the poorly lit shop, and blinked dazedly at the man standing behind the register. He hadn't noticed him when he had been looking in from outside, which was strange, really, as he was kind of hard to miss, what with his purple hair and rock-star good looks.

"Uhm. It- It's Joseph, actually," he stammered in reply, recognizing the man - boy, he was only a little older than he was- and wondering how long he’d been watching him. _I hope he didn’t notice me jumping at the sound of the bell. Or standing outside his store for, like, 15 minutes. That’d be weird._ “Tyler Joseph.” He could feel a blush rising on his cheeks and _oh wow, Tyler, way to keep your cool_.

"My bad," the boy half- smiled, moving away from where he had been standing and towards Tyler. "Number 3 though, right? Point guard?"

Tyler nodded.

"Heard you got injured. How's the ribs?"

"Only cracked three. Got a few bruised ones though," Tyler admitted, managing half a smile and meeting Josh's eyes for half a second before looking away again just as quickly, unable to remember the last time he'd been this attracted to anyone.

"Shucks," the boy said, sounding legitimately empathetic. "I'm Josh by the way," he added, holding out his hand for Tyler to shake. "Josh Dun."

Tyler took the offered hand and shook it carefully.

"I know," he said, and Josh's face fell. And _oh no that's definitely not what I meant_. "We- uhm- we have algebra together," he added quickly.

"Not just by reputation then, huh?" Josh asked, brightening considerably.

Tyler felt his face redden and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a rumbling laugh.

"No that's alright," the guy told him, eyes crinkling. "What can I do you for?"

Tyler blinked. "I- uhm," he tried, caught a little off guard because _oh shit, yeah, why did I decide to come in here again?_

Josh looked him up and down expectantly. "You looking for anything in particular or just browsing?"

"I- yes! Uhm," Tyler mumbled, trying to pull himself together. "I was kind of hoping you guys sold ukuleles," he said, his tone changing at the end of the sentence, making it sound like a question.

"We do, actually, yes," Josh said, motioning for Tyler to follow him. “We only have sopranos though, hope that’s okay. We’re expecting a new shipment of sopraninos within the next two months, if you’re after something a little less standard.”

“Yeah, no that’s fine. Standard is fine.”

Tyler allowed himself to be led through the front of the store. He tried to avoid breathing too heavily as they moved past the vinyl records, music books and sound equipment to the back of the store, but it still took him a few seconds to catch his breath by the time Josh finally stopped moving. He hoped Josh didn’t notice.

Josh reached up and plucked two ukuleles off the wall from where they'd been hanging next to a row of acoustic guitars and handed one of them - small, and made out of a dark, hard wood - to Tyler. “Do you play?" He asked, watching Tyler with curious eyes.

"No," Tyler replied absently, accepting the small instrument that was placed into his hands, and admiring it from all sides, before strumming his fingers gently over the thin nylon strings.

Josh didn't say anything, and when Tyler registered this and looked up, he saw him looking at him with raised eyebrows and a slight smirk, as if trying to decide whether to be charmed or amused.

"I want to learn," Tyler explained, blushing a deep shade of red and _oh god, I’m really not in any shape to be socially interacting with anyone, never mind attractive, tattooed, seniors with muscle tanks and purple hair and eyes that crinkle at the corners when he smiles and_.. "I- uhm, discovered I suddenly have a lot of time on my hands. Figured I’d try something new."

Tyler tried not to flinch at how pathetic that sounded. He didn’t usually have such a hard time talking to people, but Josh was the first person other than his family he had talked to in several days, and he was still a little high on the surprisingly potent painkillers he had swallowed before leaving the house. His head felt a little foggy, and this in combination with the distracting senior in front of him, made it difficult for him to focus on little things like etiquette and social expectations.

"I can imagine." Josh said with a grin, evidently having decided on being charmed. “The season’s over for you then?”

"Yeah," Tyler muttered morosely. That’s what the doctor had told him, anyway. He didn’t necessarily agree.

“Bummer.”

Tyler managed another halfhearted smile, but his main focus was still on the ukulele in his hand. He continued plucking at the strings, trying to get a feel for the instrument, all the while enjoying the little sounds it made. It was a cheerful instrument. The sounds it produced were pleasant and chipper, even in Tyler’s clumsy hands.

“It’s mahogany,” Josh volunteered after a few minutes spent in silence as Tyler inspected the small instrument.

Tyler nodded and tapped out a rhythm on the wooded body. He liked it, he decided with a smile. Ukuleles might not be the coolest instruments, but he couldn’t afford a guitar, and this was sure to keep him entertained for a little while at least. Hopefully until his ribs – and his concussion, but he tried not to think about that because even _thinking_ about it worsened his headache – healed and he could go back to playing basketball.

“So..” Josh tried again after a few more minutes had passed. “What do you think?”

“Hm?” Tyler asked absentmindedly, debating whether it would be worth trying to convince the JV coach to at least let him _practice_ with the younger boys, despite the fact that he was sure to fail his physical. Ukulele or not, two months without exercise would surely drive him insane. “Oh. I like it.”

“Yeah?” Josh asked with a grin. “Well enough to maybe consider buying it or..? I mean, I don’t want to rush you, I can give you some more time to play around with it if you haven’t really made up your mind yet, it’s just that I can’t be away from the counter for too long. Just in case of, you know, other costumers needing help and such.”

This broke Tyler out of his thought-induced haze. "Oh, shit, yeah," he said hurriedly, embarrassed all over again. "I - yeah, of course. I'd like this one please. Sorry."

"No worries," Josh said cheerfully, plucking the ukulele out of Tyler's grip with gentle hands. "Just follow me to the register, yeah?"

“I - Yeah. Sure.”

He followed Josh back to the front of the store and felt his blush deepen when he realized there was, in fact, another costumer in the store, currently holding up a vinyl album and studying the cover art.

“Sorry,” he said again, once Josh was once again standing behind the register and scanning his purchase. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“You seemed to be thinking really hard actually,” Josh commented pleasantly, placing the small instrument into a padded case. “Would you like some picks to go with it? A lesson book, perhaps?”

“Uhm, no. No, thank you. I think I’ll manage.”

“Alright,” Josh smiled. “There’s no shame in needing help though, so don’t feel bad if you do end up needing one. We’ve got quite a few good ones in stock.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks,” Tyler said, fishing some money out of his wallet, and handing it over to Josh, careful not to let their fingers brush because that’d just be awkward.

Josh counted out his change and handed it back to him at the same time as he handed him the bag containing the instrument.

“Receipt ‘s in the bag.”

Tyler accepted the bag and stuffed the leftover change into his pocket. “Thanks,” he said again, still blushing _. Damn it, Ty, way to keep your cool,_ he berated himself. _Josh must think you're a total nutcase now._

“Good luck,” Josh called after him as Tyler left the shop. “And I suppose I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, I - umh - I suppose so."

The little bell attached to the doorframe announced his departure, and Tyler _definitely_ didn’t jump this time. Definitely not. He pretended he couldn’t hear a gentle, deeply amused, laugh coming from behind him as he let the door fall shut, and, after a brief struggle with the lock on his bike, admitted defeat and took the bus home.

 

\--

 

“Ah, Tyler, my man!” Josh exclaimed excitedly as Tyler walked back into the little store only two days after their first encounter. “Knew you’d be back. How’s the ukulele-ing going?”

Tyler, taken aback by the unexpectedly enthusiastic greeting, found the first words out of his mouth to be: “I don’t think that’s an actual verb.” And blushed scarlet when a delighted smile lighted up Josh’s face.

“You’re right,” he grinned, and Tyler didn’t understand why he looked this happy about being wrong. “How have you been?”

“In the two days since you last saw me?” Tyler asked, confused, and _wow, I swear that sounded less douchebag-y in my head._

“I guess,” Josh shrugged. He was not wearing a muscle tank this time, which Tyler was kind of sad about, because: _biceps_ , but at least the Sum41 shirt he was now wearing proved the guy had a good taste in music, which Tyler figured was equally important.

“I- I’ve – good. I’ve been good. Better.”

“Good,” Josh smiled. “You look better.”

This was, again, not what Tyler had been expecting, and he scrunched up his face, trying to make sense of what Josh just said. “Sorry, what?”

Josh seemed to recognize the ‘does not compute’ expression that came over Tyler’s face and elaborated on his remark. “Don’t look at me like that,” he laughed. “You looked like you were about to kneel over. I had my hand on the panic button the entire time.”

“You have a panic button?” Tyler asked, which, _yeah, not the point_.

“Figure of speech,” Josh shrugged. “Anyway, how can I help you this time?”

 _There he goes again,_ Tyler thought as he took a few seconds to figure out how to respond to this sudden change in topic, while his head was still spinning from what Josh had just told him. _I should really stop taking those pain meds before I come here,_ he thought. _This would all be a lot less difficult if my head didn’t feel like it was stuffed with marshmellows._

“Uhm, well,” Tyler said eventually, wringing his hands together the way he always did when he was nervous. “I was sorta wondering whether you still had a few of those lesson books.”

Josh didn’t laugh, which Tyler greatly appreciated - he felt awkward enough, coming back after making a complete idiot out of himself the last time he was here - but he couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from turning up, and Tyler could tell he was amused nonetheless.

“Not as easy as you expected, huh?” Josh asked, turning around to look through the stack of books behind him.

“No,” Tyler admitted with a grimace. “I keep messing up the chords, and the YouTube tutorials always move too fast.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Josh agreed, pulling out a thin blue booklet with a drawn picture of what looked like a malformed banjo on the cover. “Ignore the cover art, it’s shit,” Josh told him as he handed it to Tyler.

Tyler nodded. “Don’t judge a book by its cover, and all that,” he mumbled, and blushed when saw the other guy struggling to keep a straight face.

“Sorry,” he said hurriedly. “I don’t always think before I open my mouth. I’d blame it on the pain meds, but..”

“Nothing to apologize for, it’s cute,” Josh said, giving up on trying to fight his smile. He had a cute smile, Tyler noticed despite himself. The only reason he kept seeing it, of course, was because he couldn’t stop acting ridiculously awkward around the older boy. All of Josh’s sunny smiles so far had been at Tyler’s expense. “This one ’s ten bucks, but it’s a good one, so I’d say it’s worth it.”

Tyler nodded and moved to pull out his wallet when Josh continued. “Of course, I’m a salesperson, so you can’t exactly trust me to be honest about it. I could just be recommending this one because it’s the most expensive one we’ve got.”

“Is it?” Tyler asked.

“Nah,” Josh admitted. “There’s one that’s 24 dollars too, but that one’s without illustrations.”

“Deal breaker,” Tyler smiled, pulling out his wallet. “This one is fine.”

“Alrighty then.” He punched some numbers into the cash register. “That’ll be 9.95 – thank you.”

Josh had a quick and precise way of moving that, like his quick switches in conversation topics, caught Tyler off guard sometimes. He was presented with a plastic bag and his change and Tyler blinked at it for several seconds before he realized that _oh, yeah, I’m supposed to accept those and walk away._

“Uhm. Thanks,” he muttered, not meeting Josh’s eyes because, _seriously, why can’t I have one conversation with this guy without acting like a complete lunatic._

“Yeah, no problem. Let me know how it goes.”

Tyler, having decided this was just another figure of speech, and not an invitation for him to impose himself on the older boy at a later time, smiled shyly as he left the store, but made no further comment.

(He managed to unlock his bike and ride it home, though, which he figured could be considered progress)

 

\--

 

Josh Dun was not actually working the next time Tyler entered the little music store, and Tyler felt like he had no right to be disappointed by this. The guy who helped him instead was perfectly friendly, almost equally attractive, and didn’t even smirk when Tyler stumbled over his words or over the doormat. He was disappointed nonetheless.

He had worked his way through the lesson book with an enthusiasm that surprised even him, spending almost all his time fiddling with the undersized instrument. Time he otherwise would have spent playing basketball. Within two days he’d played every song in the booklet, after a week he’d mastered all of them. This was when it stopped being challenging. He had spent the following thirteen hours bored out of his mind, and had finally gotten to a point where he was willing to admit that he might have a problem.

“Is- uhm – is Josh Dun not here today?” was the first thing he therefor asked the man-who-was-not-Josh, only blushing a little at the confused look he received in return.

(So what if he asked for a specific employee? He knew Josh. He liked the book Josh had recommended him. He trusted his taste. This wasn’t about liking him as a person. It was about music. Excuse him for taking it seriously.)

“Josh never works Wednesdays,” the guy told him, frowning slightly. He was a little shorter than Josh, Tyler noticed, his hair was bleached an unnatural shade of blond which did not match his eyebrows, and he too was covered in tattoos. Tyler figured the tattoos were a requirement for the job. One couldn’t really work in a privately owned record store without looking the part. People didn’t walk into small, overpriced stores like these to buy music. They walked into small, overpriced stores to live up to a certain image. Buying a ACDC cd at Walmart just wasn’t as punk rock as getting it from the little, carefully hidden away record store downtown. The employees helped sell this image. A sales assistant without tattoos, Tyler concluded, would probably be bad for business. “But he’ll be here tomorrow. I can tell him you were looking for him if you want.”

“No, that’s- that’s okay, thank you,” Tyler said quickly. “I’ll just – uhm. I think I’ll just come by tomorrow then. If that’s okay.”

The guy shrugged. “Be my guest. But I can help you right now, if you’d like. What are you after?”

Tyler paused and hated himself for it. Why should it matter who was helping him? Sure Josh was a nice guy, and sure he was fun to be around, and attractive, and he had a nice laugh, and a great taste in music and _oh god I forgot where I was going with this_. “Yeah. Sure – uhm. Do you have any books for learning to play the ukulele? I bought one here a little while ago.”

“We do, yes,” the guy declared with a smile that looked almost genuine. “Just give me one sec and I’ll get one for you.”

“Okay.”

Tyler watched as the guy walked over to the same stack of books Josh had been going through last week and shook his head at himself. _Get a grip._

“Here,” the guy-who-was-not-Josh told him, handing him a thin, professional looking booklet with another one of his smiles. “It’s got pretty much all you’ll need to learn the basics, plus a few easy songs for when you’ve mastered three chords.”

“I- okay. Sounds good,” Tyler responded half heartedly, thumbing through the pages. It looked all right, it had a couple of chords he hadn’t learned yet, a few songs, although not very many, but Tyler had really been hoping for something a little more difficult. Something that posed more of a challenge. “How much is it?”

“Twenty-four dollars,” the guy said evenly, and if he wondered why this made Tyler smile, he didn’t let it show.

“I- uhm. I’ll think about it,” Tyler grinned, his sullen mood instantly evaporated. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

The guy frowned at him, but Tyler didn’t pause to think about what his behavior must have looked like. He smiled all the way home, and it was only upon collapsing – a little too roughly – onto his bed, that he realized that he now had another whole day to kill before he had something to keep him busy again.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his Facebook feed for a few minutes, but got bored and ended up throwing the device onto his bed. He played the ukulele for a few minutes, quickly running through – and absolutely _butchering_ – all the songs he had already memorized, before he got bored again and put it back into the case. He considered going downstairs and turning on the TV, but knew the lights would inevitably hurt his eyes, and decided against it. Having exhausted all other options, he eventually grabbed his phone and speed-dialed his best friend.

“Jenna!” he cried as she picked up the phone on the third ring. “Could you do me a big favor and give me a ride to school?”

Jenna sounded cautious when she asked him why. Tyler honestly couldn’t blame her.

“I just need to talk to the coach,” he said confidently, hoping, with little reason or justification, that _acting_ like he knew what he was doing would fool her into believing him.

It didn’t.

“Two weeks, Tyler,” Jenna sighed over the phone. “You barely even lasted two weeks.”

"It's sad that you're keeping score," Tyler remarked.

"What's sad is that I need to keep score at all."

“To be fair,” Tyler admitted, rolling over to his back with a groan. “I actually lasted less than two weeks. I called to ask coach to sign off on my physical two days ago. That way I will at least be able to come to practice.”

“That doesn’t help, Tyler!” Jenna uttered wearily.

“He said no.”

This turned out to be the wrong thing to say. “Yes, of course he did! He’d get fired if he didn’t. I’d personally see to it. Jesus, Ty! I worry about you sometimes, you know that, right?”

Tyler sighed, bringing a hand up to rub at the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, I know,” he mumbled. He personally thought Jenna worried _too much_ , but would never say so. It was nice to have someone who genuinely cared about him beyond his athletic abilities.

“And?” Jenna pushed.

“And I’m sorry?”

He could almost hear Jenna roll her eyes at him, and assumed that had not been the answer she had hoped to receive. “I’ll be there in ten,” Jenna told him, hanging up the phone.

Tyler sat up quickly – too quickly – in surprise. “You’re taking me to school?” he asked, excited now. He was pretty sure he could get the JV coach to at least consider giving him a chance. The guy liked him, and wasn’t overly fond of rules, which was a dangerous combination in Tyler’s case. The fact that he was constantly at odds with the head coach only added to Tyler’s fortune, as he was more likely to approve of something that could potentially hurt one of the head coach’s star players out of spite. Tyler was about to try to formulate his winning argument, but didn’t get far as Jenna shot him down almost immediately.

“No, dumbass. I’m coming over so I can babysit you and maybe prevent you from doing anything stupid.” And yeah, that sounded more like the Jenna he knew.

 _A nice thought,_ Tyler thought, _but it’s unlikely that’ll work_. He didn’t say it out loud, but Jenna could read into his silences and knew what he was thinking anyway.

“And if not I’ll at least be able to drive you to the hospital,” she sighed.

Tyler smiled. “You’re a good friend, Jenna.”

“Fuck you, Tyler.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so first of all: Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. This is my first fanfic and I'm aware that it isn't entirely up to par with the rest of the fanfics on this site, so I really appreciate your time.
> 
> Second of all: Tyler, Jenna, Josh and Debby are actual people (shocker, I know) please be considerate of that fact when reading this. I don't mean any disrespect and am writing this for my own amusement.
> 
> Third and last of all: I know the ending doesn't make sense, but this isn't going to be a chapter fic, it'll be a one-shot. I'm just posting it in short chunks to help keep myself motivated to finish it.. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading this.


	2. Chapter 2

Jenna ended up staying the night, which had freaked her parents out the first time it happened, but now, five years and zero pregnancies later, they were totally fine with. With Jenna’s help Tyler managed to convince his parents to allow him to attend school again since _him missing any more classes really wasn’t beneficiary to anyone._

(Jenna’s words, not his.)

Tyler was in a great mood as they pulled into the school parking lot.

It lasted for about an hour.

 

\--

 

"Oh, hey, Tyler!” Josh greeted him towards the end of the day, having spotted him from across the hall. “Pete told me you came by yesterday. How's the ukulele-ing coming along?"

Josh looked as friendly and sincere as ever, and Tyler couldn’t deny, not even to himself, that he had been looking forward to seeing him again. He had, however, hoped it would be under slightly more favorable circumstances. Josh somehow always seemed to catch him at his worst.

Tyler, in his eager to get out of his room and do _something_ , had severely overestimated his own strength. _Of course I can go to school,_ he’d told his parents. _I’ve been going to school for years and it’s never been a problem before._

Yeah, no.

During the last couple of hours Tyler had discovered that being in pain cost a surprising amount of energy, focusing on a lecture while on heavy pain meds was practically impossible, and sitting on a uncomfortable chair for several hours hadn’t been doing his back any favors. The pain meds had worn off several hours ago and there was a school policy against drugs, even prescription drugs, which prevented him from taking another dose during school hours.

He was pretty miserable when he finally stumbled out of the classroom and into Jenna who, after taking one look at him, decided it was time for him to go home.

“You look like shit,” Jenna had told him, wrapping one arm carefully around his waist and allowing him to put most of his weight on her. “Your parents won’t allow you to leave the house for another _month_ if they see you like this.”

Tyler wasn’t sure whether he minded anymore.

In addition to this, it was only when Jenna repeated “Ukulele-ing?” and looked from Josh to Tyler with a frown that Tyler realized that, _oh yeah, I hadn’t actually told her about that yet._  

Jenna was probably going to kill him. Not that he’d mind that much either.

Josh spoke up before Tyler had managed to recover his voice. "Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, turning to Tyler with wide eyes. “Was it supposed to be a surprise? Did I ruin it?"

He looked legitimately upset. Tyler just blinked at him.

“I’m so sorry,” Josh said again, and Jenna not-so-subtly nudged Tyler in order to get him talking again.

 _Fix it,_ she told him silently, inclining her head towards Josh. _C’mon, Ty, snap out of it_.

“I, uhm,” Tyler tried, blinking out of his thoughts. “I- uhm, no. No, not at all.” He looked at Jenna for help, but she just rolled her eyes at him and motioned for him to go on. “Nothing like that. It's, uhm, it's really good, actually.” Jenna didn’t look impressed, but she hadn’t dropped the arm she used to hold him up and Tyler figured that had to count for something. “It’s fun.”

Tyler watched with tired eyes as Josh’s panicked expression slowly slid off his face. "Yeah?” he asked, looking from Tyler to Jenna, his eyes lingering on Tyler’s arm which was wrapped around the blonde girl’s shoulders, and Jenna’s arm, which was, thankfully, still wrapped around Tyler’s waist. “You're liking it?"

Tyler tried for a smile. "I- yeah. Very much so,” he admitted, avoided Jenna’s pointed glance and moving his free hand up to scratch the back of his neck. “Makes me feel very, uhm, punk rock."

"Oh yeah, I bet." Josh laughed, Tyler’s reassurance having lifted his unease somewhat. "Ukuleles, man. They're pretty metal."

"Yeah." Tyler laughed, unable not to when faced with Josh’s bright smile. There was something inherently _happy_ about Josh. Like the guy was _made_ of sunshine. It was infectious. "That's actually why I came by yesterday,” he explained. “I- uhm, was sort of wondering whether you could maybe recommend me some other books."

"You didn't like it?" Josh asked, a little less sunnily.

"No, no,” Tyler tried to reassure him. “I just - uhm, I already sort of finished it."

Josh paused, and Tyler met his gaze.

"You finished it?" Josh asked.

"Yeah."

"In one week?"

Tyler felt his cheeks heat up at the focus in Josh’s gaze, but didn’t break eye contact. "Uhm. Yeah?"

"Oh man,” Josh laughed, sounding thrilled. “You weren't kidding when you said you had a lot of time on your hands, were you?"

Tyler could feel his face fall, because although Josh probably hadn’t meant for it to sound like an insult, his words still stung. _He’s not wrong_ , Tyler had to admit, misinterpreting Josh’s comment and consequently assigning Josh opinions he had never voiced, and probably didn’t agree with at all. _Basketball has always taken up so much of my time, I don’t have much of a life, social or otherwise, without it._

Josh seemed to realize he had touched a nerve and was quick to change the subject.

“We’ve got something else, a little more difficult, but if you got through the first book this quickly, I’m sure you’ll do fine with this one,” he said kindly, and Tyler managed a small smile in reply to the implied compliment.

_He must think I’m a total loser. Especially now that I am no longer able to do the one thing I’m actually good at._

 “Just come by the store tonight,” Josh continued. “Or I could give you a ride right now, if you like. My shift starts in thirty.”

“I- uhm,” Tyler began, unsure of what to say. It was a tempting offer. Tyler would have loved to spend more time with the older boy, and he really needed new music for his ukulele in order to keep the boredom at bay, but he could feel himself swaying on his feet, and knew he didn’t have the energy to do much of anything today. He looked at Jenna for help, and his best friend, bless her, could read his expression well enough to understand what he was asking her to do.

“I should really get him home,” she told Josh, not unkindly, as she tightened her grip on Tyler’s waist. “It’s his first day back and I don’t want to overdo it.”

Josh frowned, but nodded. “Yeah, okay,” he said, sounding sorry. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then, yeah?”

“I- yeah,” Tyler said. “Tomorrow.” He smiled at him, but his eyes were a little unfocused and Josh’s frown deepened as he looked him up and down.

“Do you need help getting him to your car?” he asked Jenna, his gaze again straying to the hand around Tyler’s waist.

“I’ll manage,” Jenna smiled at him. “He’s not as heavy as he looks.” She nudged Tyler, who blinked, realizing he had been staring. “You ready, Ty?”

“Yeah,” Tyler mumbled, vaguely aware of the fact that he should probably be offended at what Jenna had just said. “Was that an insult?” he asked his friend as she began moving the both of them towards the entrance hall.

“I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you,” she replied, only a little condescendingly. “Let’s just focus on getting you home, yeah?”

Tyler nodded and slumped into his friend. He was vaguely aware of someone watching him go, but couldn’t find the energy to turn around and see who it was.

 

\--

 

Jenna waited until she had gotten Tyler back into his room before she raised the subject, generously allowing Tyler the entire car ride home to dread the conversation.

“So,” she began, as she closed the bedroom door behind her. Tyler didn’t need to see the look on her face to know that she was frowning. “A ukulele, Tyler?”

Tyler nodded and dropped down on the bed, face first.

“In the closet,” he mumbled, waving his hand vaguely in that direction. His words came out muffled by his pillow, and Tyler summoned all that was left of his willpower to turn himself onto his back. “It’s in the closet.”

“Of course it is,” Jenna said, unsurprised. She opened the door to his closet, ignored the mess, and pulled out the small, black case. “It’s not that I’m not glad you’re pursuing other interests, but why is this the first I’m hearing of it?”

Tyler scrunched up his face. He didn’t actually have an excuse beyond _I was really bored_ and _I didn’t want you to yell at me for sneaking out_.

“I- I thought you’d make fun of me for it?” he tried. “I mean it’s- it’s the ukulele. It’s not exactly a cool instrument.”

Jenna’s expression softened some. “And I suppose the fact Joshua Dun was helping you had nothing to do with it?”

Tyler tried, but failed, to keep his face expressionless. “It’s Josh,” he corrected, ignoring the way Jenna’s eyebrows rose in a combination of mild disapproval and smugness. “And no, he had nothing to do with it. He just works at the store.”

Jenna put the case down and folded her arms. “Really?” She asked.

“Really. He was just being friendly.”

“Oh, yeah.” She said, not sounding convinced. “He seemed _very_ friendly.”

“He’s just doing his job, Jenna,” Tyler insisted, ignoring the amused twitching of his best friend’s lips. “There’s really nothing more to it.”

“Ty,” Jenna began, and Tyler could already tell that whatever it was she was going to say next, he wasn’t going to like it.

 _Please drop it,_ he thought, not meeting his friend’s eyes, and he wanted to be angry with her for bringing this up, but knew she was only talking about this because she knew him and because she _cared_.

_We don’t need to have this conversation right now. Or ever._

Tyler had deliberately avoided thinking about the issue so far, and had been fairly successful in doing so. He was perfectly content to keep hiding in the shadow of obliviousness if it meant he wouldn’t have to address the thoughts that were so unpleasant to him. He couldn’t tell Jenna this, of course, because it would give away more than Tyler was comfortable with admitting. The way she was looking at him was a little more than what Tyler could take right now.

Jenna, although catching on to some discomfort on Tyler’s side, was unaware of just how much he didn’t want to talk about any of this and did not drop the issue.

“He’s an attractive guy,” she told him, as if it was no big deal. “No one would blame you if-“

“It’s not like that,” Tyler interrupted her. His voice sounded funny to his own ears. He hated to think of how it sounded to Jenna. “Josh is- it’s not- _I’m not like that_.”

“Oh, Ty,” Jenna sighed, and now the smug amusement in her voice was replaced with pity, which Tyler discovered was somehow worse.

“Don’t- please don’t,” Tyler begged, unsure of what exactly it was he was asking her not to do. He knew what Jenna was thinking and knew she might be right, but he was not ready to hear it just yet. “It’s not like that. Please just - Don’t say it. I’m not- Please?”

He wasn’t making any sense, not even to himself, but Jenna, sweet, clever _, wonderful_ Jenna, understood him and sat down next to him with a sigh. “There is nothing wrong with you, Tyler,” she told him gently.

“I know that,” Tyler said, frustrated. “I’m just- I’m not- I don’t,” he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. “Can’t you just make fun of me for playing the ukulele or something? I’m done talking about this.”

Jenna didn’t miss a beat. “Ukuleles are dumb.”

“Thank you.”

“Such a lame instrument.”

“Okay, Jenna.”

“I mean, they’re pretty much the black sheep of string instruments,” she continued. “All small and malformed and weird.” She was just humoring him, Tyler knew, and obviously didn’t mean a word of what she was saying, but he was relieved at being granted a little more time to decipher his own feelings. “Like a small guitar, except _worse_.”

 “You’re really bad at this,” Tyler mumbled, but there was a hesitant smile on his face.

“I know,” Jenna sighed, sinking back into the pillows. “I’m just too good of a person.”

Tyler managed a little laugh. “Oh, yeah. I’m sure that’s it,” he said. He sounded more fond than sarcastic, and Jenna obviously noticed the affection in his voice, because she turned serious again rather quickly.

“Seriously though,” she said, looking up at Tyler. “I just want you to be happy. You know that right?”

“Of course I do, Jen,” Tyler conceded with a tired smile. _She just can’t let it go, can she?_ “You’re my buddy.”

“Good.” Jenna grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “So even if you find out that you _do_ feel that way about him-”

“I don’t, Jenna.”

“- even if you do, I want you to know that’s okay with me. I love you, alright? No matter what.”

Tyler could tell Jenna was looking at him and knew it was important that he gave her this. He knew she wasn’t trying to be difficult, she was just trying to help him. It wasn’t her fault that this was something he wasn’t ready for.

“I love you too, Jenna,” he mumbled, squeezing back. “But you’re wrong. About me.”

Jenna smiled at him, all soft and gentle and _fond_. “That’s okay too.”

 

\--

 

The thing is, Tyler never expected it to be easy. He knew it would be a slow, painful recovery. He knew the process would take time. He knew he would have to be patient, but after two full weeks he had expected to be able to at least see some _results_. The doctor had said he shouldn’t participate in any strenuous or dangerous activities for the first eight weeks of his recovery, but now that two weeks had already passed and Tyler didn’t really feel any better, he began to fear two months would not be enough to get him back onto his feet, or, more importantly, back on the court.

“You will recover eventually,” Dr. Althaus had told him, when Tyler voiced his concerns. “But it will take some time. You are young and you are strong, but you were dealt quite a blow, and your body has a lot to recover from.”

Tyler didn’t think that was all that reassuring, and Dr. Althaus seemed to pick up on that.

“The only thing you can do is rest,” he told the young athlete tiredly. “I know this is not what you want to hear, but you will just have to take it easy for now.”

He was right, that was definitely not what Tyler wanted to hear.

Tyler was no stranger to pain, and this was not the first time he had ever gotten hurt. He had lost track of the amount of times he had had to sit out a practice because of a twisted ankle, he had suffered through what must have been a _dozen_ undiagnosed concussions, and his knees were permanently bruised for the duration of the basketball season. Basketball was a close contact sport and Tyler knew the risks that came with making 10 boys fight each other for a ball for 4 times 8 minutes.

He just really wanted to get this whole recovery business over with.

 

\--

 

He didn’t actually see Josh again until the following Tuesday. He had wanted to drop by the record store several times over the course of the last couple of days, but he just couldn’t gather up the energy or the nerve to do so.

He felt like he had never been this tired in his life, but he tried not to let this discourage him, he was making _some_ progress, after all. He could go to school now, could sit on a chair for several hours and sort of pay attention to what was happening at the front of the room, could lie on his bed for several hours afterwards and nod off as he tried to do his homework, could see the worried glances Jenna kept shooting at him during the classes they shared, and the way all of his teachers frowned at him when he was a little too slow to respond, could feel himself being ignored by the entire student body, could feel his head pound to the beat of his heart as the painkillers wore off, could feel his legs shake at the end of the day as he stumbled to Jenna’s car, and he could feel himself getting more and more frustrated at the fragile state his body was in. Somehow it didn’t really feel like progress.

Jenna, having put up with his whining for two days, eventually rolled her eyes at him and took off, returning half an hour later with a ukulele song book and Josh’s number. Tyler sometimes wondered what would happen to the world if Jenna was to use her powers for evil. He shuddered at the thought.  
  
“Pull yourself together,” Jenna told him as she dropped the book on his stomach. “Because if I have to listen to you hum one more Pink Floyd song, Tyler, I swear to god..“ She didn’t have to finish the threat for it to be effective.  
  
Tyler, who had been in the middle of ‘ _The Gunner’s Dream_ ’ felt his mouth snap shut. “You’re a little scary sometimes,” he told her honestly.  
  
“I’m _very_ scary,” Jenna corrected him. “All of the time.”  
  
Tyler shrugged. _Fair._  
  
“I still don’t understand why you have such a problem with Pink Floyd,” he remarked as he picked up the book and started flipping through the pages. He frowned as he recognized the songs. “Also, why did you buy me a book full of Disney songs?”  
  
Jenna sat down on the bed. “Josh recommended it.”  
  
Tyler scowled. “Josh is an asshole.”  
  
Jenna smiled, but made no comment.  
  
Tyler repeated the sentiment to Josh that Tuesday. Only realizing that this might be a strange thing to tell something in greeting when the kid sitting in front of him – Adam? Andrew? Something that started with an A – turned around to stare at him.  
  
_I haven’t talked to him in days and the first thing I tell him is that he’s and asshole? Classy, Tyler._  
  
Josh, to his credit, took this in stride. “I take it you liked the book then?” he grinned, sitting down the seat next to Tyler, instead of his usual one at the very back of the room.  
  
Tyler grimaced. “No,” he muttered petulantly and Josh’s grin widened.

 _Asshole_.

“I mean, Disney is great, don’t get me wrong, but,” he turned to Josh with an unhappy pout. “It’s all so _happy_.”  
  
Josh just shrugged. “You looked like you could use some cheering up,” he admitted, sounding a little less confident than he usually did. Tyler had to refrain from rolling his eyes at him, because how could he resent Josh for selling him a shitty book when he was being so damn _thoughtful_ about it?  
  
“Besides,” Josh added, eyes on Tyler’s bottom lip, which was still sticking out in a childish pout. “I suggested ‘ _Wish You Were Here_ ,’ but your friend looked like she was going to kill me.”

Tyler couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Don’t worry,” he said, because _yes, that does sound like Jenna_. “She’s all bark.”  
  
Josh looked at him with a troubled expression. “If you say so,” he said, not sounding convinced. “You should come by yourself next time. I’m far less likely to be intimidated into selling _you_ a book full of children’s songs.”  
  
Tyler looked down at his desk, a light blush blooming on his cheeks. He had already been intending to stop by the store again, if only because Jenna’s taste in music obviously couldn’t be trusted, but Josh’s words combined with his bashful little smile made it seem like Josh genuinely wanted him there. He avoided thinking about why that thought made his stomach feel all fluttery.

It took a while for him to catch the meaning of the second part of that sentence.

“Wait,” he said as he finally caught on. “Are you saying I’m not intimidating?”  
  
Josh, who looked as if he had been waiting for the penny to drop, looked him up and down with an amused smirk. “Yes.”  
  
“That’s not true,” he sputtered indignantly. “I am totally intimidating!”

Josh only raised his eyebrows at him, looking a lot more skeptical than Tyler figured he had any right to be.

“I’ll prove it,” Tyler declared, because if there was one thing his background in sports had given him it was an unhealthy amount of competitiveness.  
  
He turned to the boy sitting in front of him, leaning over his desk in order to tap shoulder. “Hey, Adam,” he whispered, feeling like he needed to lower his voice as the teacher entered the classroom. “Adam, you think I’m intimidating, right?”  
  
Adam turned around in his seat, looked from Tyler to Josh, glared at both of them, and turned back without a word. Tyler frowned at him. _What did I ever do to you?_

“His name is Alex.” Josh supplied helpfully, when Tyler turned to him with a quizzical look. “Not Adam.” A wide grin lit up his face and Tyler tried not to be charmed by it because Josh was being _mean_. “And yeah, you were right. You’re totally intimidating. Did you see that poor kid shaking in his seat?”  
  
Tyler glared at him.  
  
“Oh, now _that_ is terrifying.”

Their classmates’ voices decreased in volume as the teacher told the class to fall silent, and Tyler decided to take this opportunity to save face and finish the argument he didn’t want to admit he had been losing.

“I’m done talking to you,” he told Josh loftily, turning to face the front of the classroom. “Because you’re wrong and because class is starting and I’m here to _learn_.”  
  
He focused on Mr. Redding, pretending to listen to the lecture he had no way of understanding due to him having been absent for most of the previous lessons, all the while steadily ignoring Josh, who was laughing quietly in his seat.

_Asshole._

“You’re very distracting,” he whispered to Josh after fifteen minutes. He had quickly and inevitably lost interest in the lecture, and was now doodling flowers in his notebook and watching Josh, who was drumming out a rhythm that sounded suspiciously like ‘ _It’s a Small World_.’

“Sorry,” Josh whispered back, and moved to put his pencil down.

Tyler waved his hand at him. “No, don’t worry about it. It’s not like I’m paying attention anyway.”

Josh tut-tutted at him, but kept playing and Tyler dowsed off to the sight of his - _really nice, huh –_ hands, and the sound of a slightly slower song that sounded familiar somehow. He barely even noticed when the class ended, and if it wasn’t for the fact that Josh waved his hand in front of his face, he probably would have remained seated for a while longer.  
  
“Welcome back,” Josh told him, only a little smugly, as Tyler blinked back into consciousness. “Mr. Redding tried to call on you twice but you didn't respond."

Tyler yawned and directed his gaze to the front of the classroom, only to find his math teacher looking at him with raised eyebrows and crossed arms. _Yikes_.  
  
He groaned and sat up in his seat. "I should probably go apologize,” he said, knuckling his eyes. “I've missed, like, every single one of his classes these last three weeks."  
  
Josh laughed. "Yeah, I noticed, but you should probably leave that apology for another time. Your next class starts in about- ” he glanced at the clock. "3 minutes.”

"Oh, crap," Tyler muttered, only now realizing that all of his other classmates had already left. “Crap, crap, crap.” He gathered his belongings in a hurry, but was careful about getting out of his chair, unwilling to jostle his ribs any more than absolutely necessary.   
  
"Don't worry," Josh told him, handing him his backpack so he wouldn't have to bend down to retrieve it. "Mrs Witner won't bust your balls for being a little late.”  
  
Tyler snorted. "Not even when it's the third time this week?"  
  
Josh looked at him funny. "It's Tuesday today,” he remarked. “How is that even possible?"  
  
"I have superpowers," Tyler quirked, having finished stuffing all of his book into his backpack.   
  
"So you use them to make you _late_ for class?” Josh asked curiously.

Tyler made a face at himself. _Jesus, Tyler, why can’t you stop saying dumb stuff around Josh?_ “Yeah,” he sighed. “I’ll admit I didn’t really think that one through.”

Josh just laughed and Tyler found himself staring at him in awe, once again taken aback by his cheerful countenance, by his dimples, and the way his eyes went all squinty and cute when he laughed.

“No you didn’t,” Josh said a little breathlessly, and Tyler definitely didn’t go red at the sound of that. No sir. “Now shoo, you’re going to be late.”  
  
Tyler blinked. "I- oh, yeah, right.” He slung his backpack onto his back and started moving towards the door. “I suppose I’ll see you later?” he asked, pausing in the doorway.

“I suppose you will,” Josh grinned in reply, and Tyler couldn’t prevent a pleased little smile from appearing on his face.

“Alright then.”

“ _Bye_ , Tyler,” Josh said, and _oh yeah,_ Tyler realized. _I was supposed to leave. I’m going to be late. For class. Right._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, chapter notes:
> 
> 1\. Thank you so much to everyone who read, favorited, commented or kudos-ed (not a word but still), you guys are awesome. The response the first part got literally blew me away (well, not literally, but you get what I mean..)
> 
> 2\. I'd just like to say that although Josh and Tyler would be adorable together, they are not actually dating. Pretty please be respectful.
> 
> 3\. I kinda - sorta - really need a Beta reader. If anyone's interested please contact me either here, on twitter (@toyaaahx) or on tumblr (usa-government)
> 
> 4\. I haven't actually edited this chapter yet, so I'll probably keep making small changes to the fic during these next two days. I just really felt like posting this..
> 
> 5\. I might have to stretch it into 5 parts instead of four because I keep adding things that aren't really necessary to the plot
> 
> 6\. I don't actually think Jenna is scary, I just think she's amazing.
> 
> 7\. Thanks for reading all of this I haven't slept in 36 hours and I can't feel my fingers??
> 
> 8\. It's my little brother's birthday today just fyi.
> 
> 8\. You're cool and I hope you're having a great day.
> 
> \- Joy


	3. Chapter 3

The next time Tyler saw Josh was during lunch, when he accidentally walked in on a conversation between him and Brendon Urie. Or, it was more of a monologue, really. A lecture, which Brendon addressed to the back of Josh’s head, as Josh seemed to be hiding his face in his hands. The topic of said conversation had been Josh's imaginary boyfriend. It took Tyler longer than he cared to admit to realize that when Brendon mentioned a _‘cute, tall and tan guy with big brown eyes and long eyelashes’_ he was, in fact, talking about him.

He cleared his throat to make his presence known, and Brendon turned around and, upon recognizing him, squeaked “oh my god, he’s real!” and promptly fell off of his chair.

Josh, who had mostly been ignoring his friend up until that point, sat up with a frown. “The hell?” he muttered, looking down at Brendon, who was sprawled flat on the cafeteria floor.

Brendon looked pointedly in Tyler’s direction, and Josh followed his gaze.

“Oh,” Josh blushed. “Hi, Tyler.”

Tyler didn't know which one of them was more embarrassed.

It probably wasn't Brendon.

“Uhm, hi?” he greeted the two of them shyly. Not entirely sure whether it’d be okay for him to laugh at Brendon, who looked rather ridiculous where he was sitting, and unsure of how welcome he was to join the older boy and his friend. “Am I interrupting something?” 

Brendon got up and wiped the dust of his pants, looking to all the world as if this was a common occurrence to him. “Well, actually-“ he drawled, but Josh cut him off quickly.

“No not at all,” he said, a little too loudly. He glared at Brendon and kicked out a chair across from himself. “Sit down. Brendon here was just leaving.” 

Brendon snorted. “First of all: rude,” he declared as he picked up his bag and swung it onto his back. “Second of all: yes, I really should get going. Ryan is waiting for me in the library. He said he’d let me copy off of him for English.” He shrugged and turned to Tyler. “Third of all: nice to meet you, Tyler Joseph.” He held out his hand and Tyler shook it awkwardly, taken aback by the sudden formality of it. “This one,” Brendon inclined his head towards Josh, “hasn’t stopped talking about you since he met you.” His eyes trailed up Tyler’s body and Tyler found himself fighting a blush. “I can see why.”

“Leave, Brendon,” Josh told his friend heatedly, and when Tyler turned to him he had gone back to hiding his face in his hands.

Brendon grinned and took off. “Bye, Tyler. See you later, Dun.”

Josh’s reply was a muffled but sincere: “Screw you, Urie.”

Tyler took the seat that had been offered to him. “I- uhm. Hi,” he said again, cursing his own awkwardness. Josh looked at him through the gaps between his fingers. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude on your – uhm – conversation.”

Josh dropped his hands with a sigh. “Don’t- it’s just Brendon,” he told Tyler, as if that explained it, which Tyler supposed it sort of did. “You should ignore, like, 90% of the words that come out of his mouth.” He pulled out his lunch and Tyler followed his example. They ate in silence for a couple of minutes before Josh spoke up again. “So, uhm,” he began, aiming for casual, but missing by a landslide. “Just out of curiosity, how much of that did you hear?”

Tyler shrugged. “Not much,” he said, talking around his mouthful of food like a champ. “Not enough to make any sense of it, anyway.”

Josh’s relief was evident in the line of his shoulders. “Really?”

“Really,” Tyler lied and decided it was worth the moral repercussions for the relieved smile that lit up Josh’s face.

 

\--

 

Josh invited him to come sit with him again the next day. And since he had told Jenna about what happened the previous day she insisted on coming along.

“It’s pretty obvious you need my help,” she told him offhandedly, leading the way to Josh’s usual table. “There’s no shame in admitting it.”

“You sound like Josh,” Tyler grumbled.

“A true recommendation to his character,” Jenna decided, approaching Josh and the two seniors sitting next to him with a smile.

“Hi!” she exclaimed pleasantly as she put her lunch tray down on the table. Tyler sometimes envied her easy confidence and easier smile. “Okay if we join you?”

The girl sitting next to Josh – Debby, Tyler thought her name was – nodded. “Sure,” she said as the two of them sat down across from her. “Tyler and Jenna, right?” Debby asked, smiling brightly when Tyler nodded shyly in reply. “Josh has told me all about you.”

Josh groaned and leaned back in his chair. “Not you too.”

Debby frowned and Josh inclined his head to his right, where Brendon was sitting, staring at his phone. “Tyler ran into Brendon yesterday,” he explained. “Brendon got excited.”

Tyler felt himself blush at the reminder, and Brendon looked up from his device for a brief second, met Tyler’s gaze and smirked.

“Good to see you again, Tyler Joseph,” Brendon said, and Tyler’s blush deepened.

“Yeah, you too,” he managed, looking anywhere but at Josh. He had not forgotten the words he had overheard the day before, but he still didn’t fully understand their implications. _They had been talking about me, yes, but Brendon had been the one doing most of the talking. It was Brendon, not Josh, who described me as cute. Josh hadn’t seemed to agree with Brendon at all._

_But how would Brendon know what I looked like if Josh hadn’t told him?_

Debby, observing the interaction between Tyler and Brendon, rolled her eyes at her friend. “Ignore him,” she told Tyler. “Brendon is an _acquired taste_.”

Josh snorted.

“Brendon is sitting right next to you,” Brendon stated evenly, his focus again on his phone.

“Oh yeah, right,” Debby grinned. “Well, in that case, Brendon is a douchebag.”

“Brendon is offended.”

Debby shrugged. “Brendon will get over it.”

Josh rolled his eyes at his friends’ antics, and Tyler missed out on some of Debby and Brendon’s bickering, as Josh made eye contact with Tyler, and Tyler felt his own brain shut down for a quick second.

_I can, objectively, admit the guy is handsome,_ Tyler reasoned, his gaze fixed on Josh and the way his white shirt stood in stark contrast to his purple hair and tattooed skin. _That doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s an aesthetic thing. Not a sexuality thing._

He shook himself out of his Josh-induced haze when Debby shushed Brendon and turned to Tyler. “I heard you got hurt during the first game of the season,” she said, changing the subject abruptly. “You out for the count?"

"Yeah," Tyler confirmed, only a little awkwardly. He didn’t really like talking about it. “Doctors orders.”

Debby looked at him with something resembling pity, and Tyler made an effort not to look as uncomfortable as he felt. "Must have been a nasty accident," she commented.

“It was,” he admitted with a painted on smile. “But the doctor said I can go back to playing in less than a month-”

“Five weeks,” Jenna shot in. Tyler, wisely, didn’t hear.

“- so it’s all good.”

“Oh. Okay,” Debby said, catching on to Tyler’s discomfort and kindly changing the subject. “Josh told me you play the ukulele?”

“I- yeah,” Tyler admitted, aware of how Josh was looking at him with slightly squinted eyes. “Only started a couple of weeks ago though.”

Debby smiled knowingly and Tyler wondered exactly how much Josh had told her about him. “Do you like it?”

Jenna snorted. “Oh, he likes it alright,” she said, making a face, the unspoken conversation between her and Tyler forgotten. “He never puts the damn thing down anymore. It’s like he’s made it his personal mission to make me hate Disney songs.”

Tyler rolled his eyes.

_Like that’s even possible._

“You were the one who chose that book,” he pointed out.

“No, I didn’t.” Jenna said. “Josh did.”

Everyone’s eyes turned to Josh, who squirmed in his seat. “It was just a suggestion,” he mumbled. “You could’ve gone for Pink Floyd.”

Jenna scrunched her face up in a way that made her thoughts on that exceedingly clear.

“Or not,” Josh amended hurriedly. “Disney is cool.”

“Very cool,” Brendon added with a grin, and Tyler couldn’t tell whether he was being serious or not. “Badass.”

“Not when this one,” she inclined her head towards Tyler, “plays Hercules songs all day long.”

“Hercules is awesome,” Tyler argued, but there was no heat in it. He could see her point. He had been playing ‘ _I Can Go The Distance_ ’ quite a lot these last two days.

“He’s easily my favorite Disney princess as well,” Brendon agreed, and Tyler wondered whether he could tell that both Debby and Josh were rolling their eyes at him.

“Really Brendon?”

“What?”

Debby didn’t elaborate. “I can relate, though,” she told Jenna sympathetically. “Josh seems to think it’s perfectly acceptable to play the drums after midnight. We’ve been neighbors for five years and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a decent night’s sleep since I moved in.”

Tyler and Josh met each other’s gazes and shrugged.

_Fair enough._

“I didn’t know you played?” Tyler said, and Josh shrugged again.

“Drums.”

“Ah, yeah, okay, cool. Makes sense I guess.”

Tyler didn’t miss the glances Debby and Jenna sent each other.

“It’s just – he’s always moving,” Tyler felt the need to add. “And he’s got drummers arms.“ Debby giggled and Tyler blushed and snapped his mouth shut in order to avoid further incriminating himself.

“Notice that did you?” Brendon said smugly. Josh reached out to hit the back of his head. “Uncalled for, Dun.”

“Your face is uncalled for,” Josh retaliated.

Debby sighed and turned to Jenna. “It’s such a joy to witness great wit at work,” she told the other girl dryly. Jenna laughed.

“Oh, you know how it works,” she said with a look at Tyler. “Testosterone goes up, intelligence goes down.”

If Tyler hadn’t been busy chewing himself out for his own mortifying behavior, he probably would have protested against that. As it was, he just focused on his lunch and on avoiding Josh’s gaze.

“Rude,” Brendon said again. “I’m offended.”

“Okay, Brendon,” Debby said easily, before taking pity on Tyler and drawing the topic of the conversation away from Brendon’s ego, Josh’s arms and Tyler’s face, which was still painted bright red with mortification. The two girls compared teachers and classes, and exchanged gossip for a few minutes. Tyler stayed quiet, content to listen instead of being listened to, until more of Josh’s friends showed up and there were too much conversations going on at once for Tyler to follow.

He didn’t know how he ended up talking to Debby, and later found he could not recall what they had been talking about. His eyes strayed to Josh more often than he intended. Debby didn’t seem to mind much, and only smiled knowingly whenever she caught him looking. Tyler admired her patience, and blushed on his own behalf after she had to repeat a question three times in a row for Tyler to finally answer her after Josh had laughed an enthusiastic full-body laugh.

He felt almost guilty being intimidated by the tiny, auburn haired girl, but there was something about her bubbly disposition and clever brown eyes that made Tyler feel a little on edge. The unease seemed to be one-sided though, because when the bell rang and everyone got up from their seats, Debby turned to him with a smile and asked whether he’d be joining them for lunch again tomorrow.

Tyler managed to stutter out a ‘Yeah, sure. I’d like that.’ before Jenna dragged him off to their Biology class.

“Your friend is kinda terrifying,” he told Josh later, when they had found their seats for algebra.

Josh laughed, his eyes going all squinty, and Tyler’s stomach did this thing where it rebelled against  gravity. “You’re telling me.”

 

\--

 

It happened gradually. After sitting together at lunch a few times, Tyler didn’t really expect it to keep happening, but Josh invited him over again the next Monday, and Tyler didn’t mind because he really did enjoy spending time with Josh, and Debby and Jenna got along fine as well. And then four days became five days. And five days turned into every day, and only two weeks later Tyler found himself making his way to Josh’s table even when Josh wasn’t there yet, talking to Debby, and laughing, and smiling at Josh when he and Jenna joined them a couple of minutes later.

He gets introduced to Josh’s other friends, and gets along fine with most of them.

(Although Brendon still intimidates the shit out of him)

And gradually, so gradually that he doesn’t even notice it himself until his mother points it out for him, he begins to – not enjoy school, exactly, academics had never really been his thing – but he doesn’t dread it anymore. Mornings are easier, and lunches are fun, and although the afternoons are still long and boring, he hardly ever spends them by himself.

“You look happy,” his mom tells him one morning while he’s waiting for Jenna to come pick him up.

“I am happy,” Tyler responds, in equal measures pleased and surprised to find that he’s telling the truth.

School is good, and music is good, and his new friends are great, and sure, the recovery is still taking a lot more time and energy than he’d like it to, but he can at least walk without his ribs hurting and sit through an entire day of classes without feeling like he’s dying afterwards. He likes the little routine he’s got going on, he likes the people he’s surrounded himself with and he’s happy.

(And so what if he stares at Josh a little too long sometimes? So what if he ignores the way Josh looks at him in return, a little too soft, and a little too fond to be considered just friendly? So what if his knees shake sometimes? So what if his cheeks flush whenever he meets Josh’s gaze? So what if he ignores the way his stomach constantly feels like he’s had too much to eat? So what if he ignores the way Jenna tells him that it’s fine, that it’s natural and nothing to be ashamed of? So what? He is _happy_ and he is _straight_ and it is all _fine._ )

But then it is thanksgiving, which is quickly followed by Christmas, and Tyler is very much not fine. He is left right back where he started; in a house filled with life and noise and people, but so damn _alone_ he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

All his family does is talk about basketball, watch basketball and play basketball, and Tyler feels like he's losing his mind because _my ribs are fine, alright. Just let me join in_.

 

\--

 

He broke only five days into his Christmas break.

“I’m gonna run over to a friend’s house real quick,” he told his mom, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. “I’ll be back before dinner.”

“Yeah, alright,” his mom said lightly, recognizing that Tyler needed some time away from his well meaning, but vexatious relatives. “Be sure to take your phone with you. And wear a helmet!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tyler said, pocketing his phone and walking straight past his helmet on his way out the door. “See you later,” he called as he closed the door and jumped onto his bike with more grace than he had previously been capable of.

He made his way to the record store on autopilot. Not really stopping to think about where he was going because _of course I’m going to go see Josh, I haven’t seen him in days_.

(He hadn’t seen Jenna in several days either, but he chose not to think about that)

It was not far from Tyler’s house to the record store, but it was December and cold out and by the time he made it to the store his face was burning and he could no longer feel his fingers. Josh wasn’t due to start until an hour later, but Tyler walked in anyway and was greeted by Pete, who looked up and smiled at him, and told him Josh will be there in a little bit and that he was free to just hang out until then.

“Thanks, Pete,” Tyler said as he moved to the back of the store and sat down at the piano. He’s on a first name basis with Josh’s colleagues, and although he didn’t really know how this happened, it had just become one of those things he chose not to think about.

He played with the keys of the piano for a little while, trying for different sounds instead of chords. He discovered the piano was different from the ukulele, more solemn and less chipper. Tyler found that he tended to stick to the darker keys on the left side of the instrument, and wondered what that said about him as a person. It took a while, but eventually he managed to play a melody that he enjoyed, a mix of dark and cheerful sounds that sounded right, and played it until his hands could find the right keys without a conscious effort on his part.

“The ukulele bore you already?” Josh asked, and Tyler jumped at the sound of his voice, moving away from the piano almost guiltily.

_Has it been an hour already_?

“Sorry,” Josh apologized. “Should have made some noise.”

“No, you’re fine,” Tyler said, only a little breathless. He looked down at the instrument in front of him with a shrug. “I just wanted to try something new, I guess.” His words sounded familiar, and Tyler realized that this was almost the exact same thing he had told Josh when he first met him.

_Strange,_ he thought to himself. _How much things have changed since then._

Josh seemed to be thinking of the same thing. There was a small smile on his face, which Tyler answered with a tentative smile of his own. His first real smile in several days.

“It sounds good,” Josh commented, leaning against the heavy instrument with a smile. “You ever take lessons?”

Tyler shook his head. “No,” he admitted. “My family isn’t exactly very,” he paused, wondering how to word the fact the fact that his family didn’t care about much beyond sports without sounding like a total philistine. “ _Musically inclined_.”

Josh seemed to understand what Tyler wasn’t saying. “Basketball?”

“Basketball,” Tyler confirmed with a sigh.

“So that’s what this is?” Josh asked, and there was something in his gaze Tyler couldn’t identify. “Just a quiet way of rebelling against your family?”

Tyler mulled it over for a little while.

_Yes_ , he wanted to say, because that was definitely a part of it. But looking at Josh he had to admit to himself that that was not the full truth.

“No,” he decided eventually. “No, it’s not that. It’s more of a – I mean, it started out as me trying to kill some time, you know, I was bored and figured I should try something new, but now,” he looked at Josh, at the way Josh was looking at him, grave and apprehensive, as if what Tyler was about to say mattered in a way Tyler was yet unable to grasp, and shrugged. “I don’t know, I like it. It just – fits.”

He hadn’t known the words were true until he tasted them on his tongue. _It does feel right,_ Tyler realized, looking down at his hands, which were resting on the black and white keys of the piano. His fingers, long and slim, and no longer bruised or taped together with sports tape, looked like they belonged. _They’re musician’s hands now_.

When he looked back up he caught a glimpse of Josh’s smile as it faded off his face.

“Well, you’re welcome to hang out here as long as you like,” Josh told him with a pat on the shoulder. “We’ll try to keep it a basketball free zone, pinky promise.”

“Thanks,” Tyler smiled in reply. Ignoring the way Josh’s touch seemed to burn through the thin material of his shirt. “I- really. Thank you.”

Josh disappeared back to the front of the store at the sound of the bell, and Tyler stayed seated for a little while longer, before plucking a ukulele off the wall and following Josh to the front.

He spent the rest of Josh’s shift perched on top of the counter, annoying the hell out of Josh by playing a constant stream of Disney songs, interspersed with some random requests by the costumers. Josh laughed and rolled his eyes at him, but sang along to every song, his voice raspy and off key.

Tyler couldn’t remember having ever been happier.

 

\--

 

Tyler went for his first run the day after his family left.

It was a Wednesday, which meant Josh wasn’t working, and a week before school was to start again. When he woke up the next morning his ribs hurt so much he could barely move.

He allowed himself one day to recover, and went for another, longer run the day after.

_I need to get back into shape,_ he told himself, trying to justify his self-destructive behavior. _I just have to keep increasing the intensity a little at a time. That way I’ll be prepared to get right back into the game once my eight-week recovery period is over._

He brought a ball with him on his next run, which helped because it allowed him to focus on keeping control of the ball, instead of worrying about the pain in his chest, or the way his head won’t stop spinning. He shot 200 hoops once he finished his lap and could barely lift his arms the day after.

_Progress._

 

\--

 

“Are you sure you’re ready for this, Ty?” his brother, Zack, asked when Tyler told him they should play a quick game of one-on-one, two days before school started.

“I’m fine Zack,” Tyler told him, rolling his eyes. “It’s been 6 weeks. I’m basically recovered at this point.”

Unfortunately for Tyler, Zack was not easily fooled. He had been there the day of the accident, hell, he had been the one to carry his brother off the court, and knew the injury Tyler was recovering from was more than just a sprain. “But I thought mom said-“

“You thought wrong," Tyler snapped, impatient and cross. He had expected his _own brother_ to be on his side.

“Are you sure you should risk it though?” he asked, and Tyler rolled his eyes at him. _I’m not an invalid,_ he grumbled to himself. _I listened to what the doctor said. Took it easy for a month and a half. Why does everyone still act like I don’t know my own limits?_

"Why?” Tyler goaded, knowing exactly which buttons to push. “Are you scared I’m going to beat you?”

Zack scowled, and Tyler figured he probably knew what Tyler was trying to do. He knew he’d go for it anyway.

“I mean, I get it. I don’t like losing either.”

“Tyler-“ Zack tried again, but Tyler didn’t let him finish.

“What? Afraid you can’t beat your brother even when he hasn’t played in months?” he continued with a smirk. “It is true your follow trough is sloppier than mine, and dribbling never was your strong point.”

“Tyler, I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“So you are scared?”

Zack’s expression darkened. “Hell no,” he said, and Tyler knew he had him.

"Good,” Tyler grinned. Playing on his brother’s ego was always a good bet. Competitiveness seemed to run in the family. “Get the ball, I'll go lace up."

"First one to ten?"

Tyler considered it. "Fifteen."

Zack frowned and looked his brother up and down.

Tyler sighed. "I'm _fine_ , Zack."

"If you say so."

He beat Zack the first round, which was not unusual. Tyler had always known himself to be slightly better than his brother. Zack was taller, yes, but Tyler was a better shot. Even when he was out of practice. Tyler was less fortunate the next round, his brother managed to beat him by a few baskets, and by the time they started their third round Zack was - quite literally - running circles around him.

"Look, Ty," Zack said, after Tyler suggested they'd play one more round before they'd head inside. "If you want to run yourself into the ground playing basketball go ahead. I'm not going to stop you.” He looked his brother up and down with a frown. “But I won't be a part of this either."

Tyler relaxed out of his defensive position and stepped closer to his brother. "That's not what I'm trying to do."

Zack ignored him. "I get it, okay?” he said, tossing Tyler the ball. “You’re hurt and you can't play and that sucks, but.." He fell quiet, not meeting Tyler’s eyes, and Tyler did not like where this was going. He didn’t need another lecture.

"But what?" he asked, his voice a little rougher than it normally was.

"But I don’t get it.” Zack exclaimed. “You love basketball, I get that, but that's not what this is about."

"Then what is this about?"

Zack walked away from him with a shrug. "How the hell am I supposed to know? I'm not a shrink. All I'm saying is you need to sort yourself out, man. This is not healthy."

And _wow_ , Tyler thought as he watched his brother go. _Thanks Zack, for being supremely unhelpful_.

"Fuck you!" he yelled after him, but Zack just waved him away.

"Yeah, whatever, Ty. I'm not the one you're mad at so don't even start."

 

\--

 

School started again, and Tyler went to his first basketball game in almost two months. He sat in the bleachers and felt sorry for himself for the duration of the game, but cheered as loudly as everyone else and high-fived his teammates when they headed back into the locker-room, because they were a team, and the fact they were doing fine without him didn’t change that. Shouldn’t change that. Tyler was trying really hard not to feel bitter about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I lied. I'm going to need at least 8 chapters.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this. I'll try to post the next part on the 4th, but it's freshers week so no promises..
> 
> A huge thank you to Abigail for being awesome and for making this readable. You're a cool bean.


End file.
